Bite Me

Fourty four today, WOO!
Fourty four today, WOO!
I’ve got the key to the door, never been fourty four before ...

Some people get maudlin around their birthday but not me, yay! I love it. I’ve already been celebrating turning 44 since Friday so jeez, where ya been? Pick up the pace!

First I went to see Ingrid Pitt at The Barbican. Yes, INGRID PITT, sex-pot extraordinaire and star of Hammer Horror classics such as Vampire Lovers, Countess Dracula and, erm ... some other stuff.

Apparently some people have never heard of her so on Friday I had to go to Google to find a picture of her. This one made my eyes pop out ON STALKS like cartoon’s do and I did a love wet RIGHT THERE in my chair.

When I saw Vampire Lovers when I was 15, and saw her going round biting the breasts of young virgins, I finally knew ONCE AND FOR ALL that I was one of those dirty queer girl-on-girl types. Ergo Ingrid Pitt was the first woman I ever fancied when I actually knew what it was and didn’t just think it might be one of those schoolgirl crush things. Yikes!

So there she was on Friday looking ... well, a little bit old and frail really, BLESS. She had to be helped down the stairs and was huffing and puffing a bit when she got to the bottom, she also has to wear dark glasses, but she’s still a game old bird.

She was supposed to be introducing a film - The House That Dripped Blood – but all she did was molest the director who was also there, kissing him endlessly and telling him she could eat him. Then talking about his two sons who were so beautiful she could just take them home ... I don’t think she said a word about the movie. She’s so bonkers she’d make a bat laugh!

The film was a strung together collection of short pieces about a creepy old house and the misfortunes that befell its inhabitants. There was a great story about a little girl who got into witchcraft and made a wax effigy of her father that she stabbed repeatedly to inflict pain on him before finally throwing him on the fire.

In Ingrid’s bit she starred with Jon Pertwee who bought a cloak that made him turn into a vampire. On hearing the news Ingrid just couldn’t WAIT to get a piece of the action, she managed to wrangle the cloak from his paws and was soon in full vamp mode - hissing, screaming and flapping around the belfry. YOW, she looks so CUTE with fangs!