Big Glam Sham

I’ve been loving reading about the Big Drag Wedding of Stewart Who? And Wayne G – a couple of queens who decided to tie the knot by holding a transvestite fashion show aboard the HMS Belfast.

The tale contains the usual elements of wedding nerves, parental disapproval and bitterness from those who weren’t invited, it’s just that the guests are all fabulous and turn up dressed as Joan Crawford, Leigh Bowery and a variety of disco dollies.

So I’m lapping up this story cos it’s drag queens, but the best bit is that these two are not lovers in the traditional sense of the word, they are platonic best friends who have chosen to share their lives together while getting plenty of cock elsewhere.

This has caused some of their friends to dismiss their marriage as a “sham”. People always dismiss the things they don’t understand. It all goes back to stereotypes – heterosexual stereotypes I might add.

As you probably know, Civil Partnerships don’t need to be consummated to be considered valid. (I’ve no idea why this is and I can’t be bothered trying to find out – it’s probably something to do with what “they” do turning people’s stomachs or something.) As far as I’m concerned this is a positive step and gives us the right to define our own relationships where we adapt the rules to suit ourselves. We don’t just have to follow the standard that straighty has laid down before us.

Of course, that kind of one-on-one relationship is still an option, but who’s to say your partnership is any less valid if you choose to have sex elsewhere, or if you don’t care to have sex with anybody at all?

Who’s to say a platonic amour is going to be any less able to support you, look after you and offer you comfort than somebody you once used to fuck?

I had a conversation with David Hoyle about platonic love, he said something so beautiful it almost made me cry. He spoke about his close friend Lee and said, “to me he’s like the moon, and the sky and the ocean” (apologies if I paraphrase) … and all the better for not being intimate on a sexual level.

Similarly, Stewart describes Wayne as, “the most significant and rewarding relationship to enlighten into my life”.

One advantage of the Civil Partnership is it allows us to elect our next of kin – the person who will be responsible for us should we become old, infirm or incapacitated. If we haven’t chosen to marry, then that burden will fall on our family. How many of us would want to have them making our decisions for us? Finding someone to fuck is easy, finding someone to love and trust is a different matter. And why should it have to be the same person? Because the heteros say so?

People tell us we’ve reached a level of equality by being allowed to marry, but it’s also a loss of identity. We’re effectively encouraged to denounce gay culture and become regular members of society.

I’m making it my resolution to only attend weddings that are “sham”.