An Audience with God

You know, if I were ever to meet Antony Hegarty I think I would just fall to my knees and weep. I would be rendered incomprehensible by feelings of awe and admiration and completely incapable of speech.

When his voice breathed out into the darkness at the Barbican Hall last night it caused an actual physical reaction – like when you step into a hot bath and your body briefly tenses then relaxes with contentment. I wrote in Boyz magazine that he sounds like tears falling on rose petals – it’s a line I’m very pleased with and it’s true, it’s a perfect blend of simultaneous pain and beauty.

At the Barbican he is backed by the London Symphony Orchestra and takes on an even more ethereal quality, the instruments match the delicacy of his vocal and lend it more power with crashes and loud crescendos. It’s not quite as moving as hearing him alone with his piano, but it’s no less impressive.

I was big and brave and didn’t cry last night, but I was treated to many of my tear-jerker favourites – I Fell in Love with a Dead Boy has particular significance in being the first track of his I ever downloaded, then there was Rapture, For Today I Am A Boy, Cripple and the Starfish. There was even a cover of Beyonce's Crazy ... but best of all was River of Sorrow. I nearly screamed when he announced this as at previous shows I’ve seen he either hasn’t done it or has invited that pesky Marc Almond to sing it.

He told us the story behind the song – that it was written for Martha P Johnson (after whom he named his band Antony and the Johnsons). She was a young tranny hooker in Manhattan who did a lot to help young street children. Her body was found floating in the Hudson River after she told friends she had been seeing images of her dead friends and relatives in the water. He was so engaging telling the story and I wished he would speak more often.

There were lots of tracks from the forthcoming album and I think it’s going to be amazing. I’ve been a tiny bit disappointed with the Another World EP as the songs aren’t as personal as usual. I like him best when he’s being slapped around a bit, but I’m confident the new record will be up to standard. And at the moment I’m so in love that I’m going back tonight for second helpings.

I looked on the website when I got in after last night and there was literally ONE SEAT remaining. I said a prayer of thanks to God and the baby Jesus - the seat is so high up I’ll probably see them there - but watching Antony from up on high seems strangely fitting.