One Track Mind

If you didn’t come here looking for yet another Justin Bond update then look away now. But then again, what the hell were you expecting?!

I’ve been back to Lustre twice since my last posting; the first was the press night on Tuesday which turned into a horribly drunken affair. All manner of London cabaret celebrity was in attendance – Ophelia Bitz, Ryan Styles, Dickie Beau, you name ‘em ... The aftershow was a heady mix of insincere air-kissing and glamour. I had a lovely chat with Our Lady J and I seem to remember we even held hands. Then I spoke to Bourgeois and Maurice and told them their song Dull People almost drove me to suicide – they were thrilled.

From being thrown out of the Soho Theatre at 1am, already somewhat troubled by alcohol, the entire party travelled, en mass, to the Green Carnation where we bullied poor Aubrey into giving us a private function room equipped with Jack Daniels, vodka and the tiniest smattering of mixers.

Needless to say the end is somewhat blurry, but I remember chatting with Geo, aka Novice Theory; music from Our Lady J and Justin; and an awful moment when a gatecrasher decided to perform a dreadful song for us and was accompanied by deathly silence and wall-to-wall looks of absolute horror.

The next day I woke somewhat bleary eyed and got a text from Dusty Limits to tell me he had the kind of hangover usually reserved for only the evilest of Nazis. It was here that I remembered it was true – I HAD FORCED HIM TO BOOK OUR LADY J FOR KUNST THIS FRIDAY!! So now she is the special late night guest headliner at our pre-Halloween party. Hurray!! I think I may possibly CHOKE with excitement. And take a look at this picture I stole of her from Facebook ... TOO FIERCE!!!



Yesterday I was back for my third night at Soho Theatre and was initially furious at being stood up by my “date” at the last minute. That didn’t last for long though as, hey bongo, in through the door trotted Antony Cotton - star of Coronation Street, Queer as Folk and my Justin-stalking trips to Manchester! We were soon reacquainted and chattering happily before moving upstairs for the show.

In the bar I spotted some chaps who looked familiar and it turns out they were from modern beat-pop combo The Feeling. By coincidence I sat next to them for the show and they loved it – especially Justin’s stories about Anne Frank and practicing witchcraft in Imagnens (sp?) in San Francisco. Didn’t get a chance to talk to them because straight after the show we were Duckie-bound for Justin's 3-song guest performance.

CRAWLED through the West End in a cab – me and Antony on the back seat – and arrived at the Tavern to find everyone on good spirits but the place was RAMMED. You couldn’t get a pin between ‘em throughout Justin’s set, which was fantastic, but I would be grateful in future if patrons could please note the following – do not push past me with drinks when I’m watching Justin; do not stumble into me on your way to the toilet; and above all do not gurn into my face and think I will be pleased to see you when your huge cranium is blocking my view of the stage. Honestly, he was only on for ten minutes!

From where I was stood I couldn’t see much of Lady J on the keyboard, just shocks of blond hair from round the side as she shook her head about and I started laughing as I realised one of the reviews I read was spot on – she really does behave like Rowlf from off the Muppets. Ha ha, bless her.

Justin was mostly busy with his flocks of admirers, but I managed to get some time to fawn over him. Here is a pic of us sharing a ‘tender’ moment, courtesy of Matin ... there should be a genuine one to follow.