Gurn Baby Gurn

I have been putting together my drag outfit for next week’s Vogue Ball. Inspired by Paris is Burning, Jim Stanton hosts Vauxhall is Gurning and one may enter to walk in themed categories at the Ball.

I’m not dumb enough to try and compete with the queens in the glamorous rounds, so instead I’ve opted for Butch Banjiboy Realness. Wearing manly clothes will be no strange experience, but I’m also going for facial hair. And platforms.

I’ve never tried facial hair before and have no idea what it will look like. For authenticity, when I got my hair cut, I collected the remains and carried them safely home in an envelope. Now I just have to work out what to do with the stuff. Or I might take a trip to Foxes and have a look at their stick-on face merkins.

It started as a bit of a laugh but, to be honest, I’m starting to get scared now. There’s a double page ad for the evening in QX, and also a celebrity panel of judges. Last time it was just a muck-about at Horsemeat, but they seem to be going for it this time and have upgraded the venue to Area.

I don’t know anyone else who’s taking part and I’m worried it might turn into a lonely evening. Are you going to come along to support me? It’s on Saturday 16 December, doors open at 10 and the walking starts at 12.30.

You can book advance tickets at Ticketweb or buy them at Clone Zone or Prowler.