Boxing Day: Stir Crazy

God, I've been so bored today I actually enjoyed cleaning the flat. I always say of Christmas, "Well, I'll take the days off work but you can keep the rest." Thing is, there's very little point in having days off work when you can't actually go out and *do* anything. Mind you, I've been living in virtual squalor for weeks so a little enforced housework is no bad thing.

To encourage myself, I went to Currys to buy a bargain price vacuum in the sale - my old one having just choked its last breath on a mouthful of putrid catlit. In typical Right Nasty style I chose the drag queen of vacuums - beautiful metallic red sheen with transparent accessories and a gleaming silver shaft handle. Unwrapping the package and assembling the wares was a delight, but does it do a great job of shifting cat fur? Does it shite.

The cat, meanwhile, has spent the last two days begging me for tuna. She received some yesterday as a treat and has spent the time since meowing, squeaking and generally remaining unashamed of her very large role in my current carpet cleaning fiasco.

I might just strangle the bitch and rid myself of two irritants in one go.

Still, the agony's almost over, only New Year to get through. The usual clinking of glasses and spilling of insincere sentiment. I think I shall resolve for a new year career change. Four years of local council, festering in Woolwich and feeling like a fish out of water's enough for anyone.

Who knows, if it all comes off maybe next year I won't be so bitter and twisted. Sh'yeah right, dream on. I said "career change" not "new personality."