Bees, Toms and Queens

Ooh, it’s all go! Not only have I bought a new iron and a new cutlery set this weekend - which you have to admit is pretty blummen exciting - but I have also got the brand new B-52s album, found out that the Tom Tom Club are coming back to London *and* witnessed the UK debut of a new drag queen. PHEW!

The B-52’s Funplex pretty much carries on where the previous albums left off - lots of delicious harmonies, crazy beats and songs about sex, cars, fun and dancing. All driven along by their usual infectious energy, not least of all on track 3 with its natty refrain of Ultraviolet, ultraviolet, WOOO!

My only complaint is the ridiculous airbrushing on the cover. What’s wrong with a bit of maturity, I ask you? They’re all exquisitely preserved anyway, and I’m not happy that my sweet Kate has been reduced to an almost cartoon-like image. Or maybe I'm making a complete tart of myself and it’s actually a B-52s wax work.

The Tom Tom Club are another well-preserved blast from my past. I first saw them live in 1990 when I went to stalk Deborah Harry in LA. She was on the Escape from New York tour, which was a triple bill with Debbie, Tom Toms and The Ramones. On many nights I actually preferred the Tom Tom Club's set to Debbie's, but for God's sake don't tell her I said that!

Chris and Tina are two of my BIGGEST EVER heroes – and they’re not even drag queens or gayers! I’m sure I’ve bored each and every one of you before with my stories about meeting them to do an interview for the Virgin website, then visiting their home several months later for the recording of their live album. I must have told you how, if you listen hard, you can even hear me cheer on it.

The last time I saw them was in 2003 when Chris and Owen and I went to see them at the Great Eastern Hotel (see pics). Tina hugged me for an eternity when I ran into her and I've even got a photo of the embrace somewhere. All you can see is the back of her head and me grinning, so it's not really worth posting.

The gig was fantastic but the venue and the event (Return to New York) were hideous, so after the show they ran away back to their hotel room to hibernate and, save for a few emails, I've not had much contact with them since. Though I still have a pair of pants that Tina took off and threw into the crowd during one number, Owen caught them and very kindly donated them to my stalking collection.

So suffice to say, I simply cannot WAIT to see them when they appear on the bill at Massive Attack’s Meltdown in June. I’m thinking I might have to take out a South Bank membership as their all new and non-inclusive sales policy means that members get first dibs on the tickets. If I’m not in the first few rows I’ll be gutted. There’ll be a strop like you wouldn’t believe.

But in the meantime there’s Dina Martina, who made her UK debut last night on the Duckie stage. Hype is a hard thing to live up to, and it’s true she’s not of Justin Bond or Taylor Mac calibre, but she put on a lively performance - dressed in trailer trash chic and with a rather obtrusive camel toe.

Meeting her alter-ego Grady West before the show, I have to say he’s the least likely drag queen EVER - a self-effacing, understated guy who looks like he’d be happier watching baseball. But once the wig and make up go on, that all changes.

He took us through assaults on songs by Whitney Houston, Dead or Alive and Elvis, along with patter that I can’t remember any examples of. No matter, I'll pick some up eventually because I’ve been cordially invited to attend press night for his run at Soho Theatre, and also have tickets for one of the later shows.

If you want to come, call the box office and tell them you were at last night’s Duckie and they’ll give you 5 pound off your ticket (what about THAT, Meltdown Festival). I don’t think they’ll bother to check to see if you’re lying.

You can also check out Dina on You Tube.