Weekend of Magical Stalking

Highlights of this weekend – trendy cabaret, plate smashing and chilling out with hippies at Oval.

Justin Bond was in town so it was best-stalking-foot-forward and my first port of call was Bistrotheque on Friday. Justin was performing there for two nights but I could only go to one so, needless to say, I was in a slight panic - I had to arrive super-early to grab the seat allocation man and secure myself privilege booking.

Do you think an hour and a half was a little excessive? Well, who cares, because I was delighted to be rewarded with the FRONT ROW CENTRE table. Justin was performing literally INCHES in front of me and at one point I was sure I could even smell him.

It was a fabulous show of old favourites – Bambi Lake numbers, Low Spark of High Heeled Boys and Benjamin Smoke’s Clean White Bed (hoorah!) – plus some new original songs that he wrote while getting back to nature at fairy camp. Taylor Mac apparently inspired his new confidence in song writing by telling him it’s easy – all you have to do is write a monologue and then stick a few chords behind it.

He looked radiant and quite rightly won the hearts of the assembled crowd, which was kind of a who’s who of London minor celebrity – Jonny Woo, Bourgeois and Maurice, Ryan Styles, Ophelia Bitz – also Brendan Courtney who I’ve known for ages but only recently realised is from the Clothes Show. Needless to say, there was schmoosing to be done and cheeks to air kiss and I went off home full of joy and jubilation.

On Saturday I took a few hours out from Bond-chasing to go to Pride. Toby and I watched the march from outside Debenhams (we seem to be moving down market – last year it was John Lewis but, thanks to the credit crunch, next year it will probably be Primark). To be honest it was a bit over long and lacking in floats of any great interest. I still took a load of pictures but I can’t let you look at them yet, because I haven’t got to talking about Gay Shame or Queerbash.

So, good things about Gay Shame:

• Bearlesque – especially their dance with lights and neon tubing to Smack My Bitch Up
• The Readers Wifes’ set
• The trans man / drag king Truck Stop.
  

The bad things? Um ... pretty much everything else really, I hated it. Too hot, too packed, too expensive and too plain ugly. Thirty minute queues for the bar? Give me a break. Plus I kept missing Justin because you didn’t know what was happening from one floor to the other. Grr.

Still, there was one glorious highlight – the Anger Management Booth. Was there ever a sideshow made that would suit me better? You were given two clay balls and a plate, you wrote the name of someone you hate on the plate, hung it on the wall and then threw your balls at it. Fabulous!

My choice of name was rather unoriginal – “mum” – but oh the joy when it came down-a-crashing. In fact I was so euphoric I went a step further and jumped on it, little shards of anger firing off in every direction. It was delicious. I still had one ball left and somebody had left a plate there labelled “dad” well, it only seemed fair, so I also gave that one a good walloping.

Resisting the urge to go back for another session I caught Justin’s last number, 22nd Century. He sang it from on top of some scaffolding, stamping his feet on the rather unstable looking wooden flooring. I was moved to point out to him that I had just run into his boyfriend Nath-Ann who covered me in glitter, and now here was Justin covering me in SAWDUST. How we laughed. I gave up after that and went home.

The next day was an altogether more successful excursion – Queerbash, an independently produced, DIY event that was like taking a trip back to the 80s. It was held at the Synergy Centre in Oval, a curious little place on a backstreet that’s kind of like the Drill Hall used to be before it went a bit up-market. Entry is by donation and there’s a nice little cafe selling worthwhile drinks with no nasty additives, there’s lots of art and leaflets and signs of some unmittigated do-gooding. It smells of wholesomeness and josticks and I have to say, I quite liked it.

Justin and Nath-Ann were billed to be playing from 4.15 til 5.15, I knew there wasn’t a cat’s chance in hell of that happening and they finally turned up about 5.30. They did a few acoustic numbers at about 6 and then we sat around chatting and watching the other performers – some talented young bands singing quirky songs with political and social messages and a crazy drag queen called Infidel Castro. The bands restored my faith in the young as it was good to see there are still discontented youths who are trying to change the system, not just the ones we see in the media buying Wiis and doing "binge drinking". I think being idealistic is a good way to be when you’re young – where else are tomorrow’s cynics and fascists going to come from?

Anyway, for their second set Nath-Ann did a great solo piece that was originally by a band called The Coven, it was all about scary witches and Justin and I chuckled it was like the Retro Bar set to music. Justin then joined him to do some previously unrehearsed collaborations including, again, that amazing Benjamin Smoke song and other highlights from his Bistrotheque selection.

It was the perfect relaxed Sunday evening and ... oh, wait, what was that? Shut up and show us the Pride photos? *sigh* ... here you are then.