Trick or Treat

Hallowe’en – it’s sort of like Gay Christmas isn’t it? If that’s the case then yesterday I must have been the gay equivalent of the harassed housewife as I put myself under a ridiculous amount of pressure to complete a costume and carve a pumpkin. None of this was completed until 6pm and I was starting hyperventilate. God help me if I ever had to do anything that was actually important.

I arrived at the Retro Bar resplendent in my new threads and clutching my vegetable topiary, to find that the efforts made by my fellow punters could only be described as POOR. I was, in fact, the SOLE entrant in the fancy dress competition and the only other pumpkin was provided by Gerald, who I had cajoled into entering on Twitter.

So the long and short of it is, Hallowe’en was a pretty profitable evening for the House of Right Nasty. Firstly the pumpkin competition was declared a tie, then my team won the pop quiz and was awarded a bottle of champagne. The fancy dress competition was CANCELLED, which annoyed me as I was expecting to compete for a cash prize. However, the cash prize was used for a creative writing contest and I won that anyway so HURRAH – EIGHTY QUID!! Fantastic!

We had to complete a story about what had happened to Joan Dairy Queen, who was the absent supposed-to-be-co-host for the evening. My tale involved me having a cloven hoof (a lifelong ambition) and turning into a wolf and eating him. I guess I forgot that I’m vegetarian.

If you haven’t already seen these on Facebook, my photographic highlights follow. The first is at home as I forgot to take any pics of myself at the bar.



The many and varied entries to the Pumpkins Carving Contest. Mine's the shit one on the right. I really felt Gerald should have won but I was happy with a tie as it meant I got two free drinks!



Our incomparable host, Ms Myra Dubois.



Jamie the door whore, who fell asleep on a pile of diamante.



Gerald with cock cake.



Alex working bearded drag realness.



Paul working 'jaundice'.



Felix



Lesley - attempting to hide behind a cobweb FAIL.



Philip Normal



Skull and candles on bar top.