Tranny Chasing

Filthy Gorgeous - The Trannyshack Story is exactly how I want my life to be. Fabulous people in fabulous clothes being, well ... FABULOUS!!

It's a documentary about the Trannyshack club in San Francisco. It opens with a scene from the Weapons of Ass Destruction theme night, with a naked drag queen pulling an American flag from her poo hole - the tone kind of continues from there.

Club host Heklina (pictured) is prominent in the film. She talks about what inspired the club and how it's become one big dysfunctional family.

Of the many amazing clips I loved Snow White and a Dwarf singing about oral, a demented goth with a pig snout ripping a baby from a woman's stomach, a large queen being gang raped by three lesbians with strap ons, and an "everybody's got Aids" singalong.

Most of the performers were interviewed about their past and their introduction to drag. I loved Princess Kennedy's story about going to the mall dressed as a pregnant teenager when she was a 13 year old boy. I also swooned at SupposiTori Spelling who's amazingly beautiful in both male and female drag. By the end I was a bit "I love you all!!" and it's impossible to pick a favourite.

I forgot to say that 30 or 40 of the trannys had flown over for the show, and afterwards there was a Q & A session. I wanted to ask if they had all come over on the plane in full drag but, of course, I chickened out.

That's OK, because now I can assume the answer's "yes" and picture them all mincing round economy class wearing enormous wigs and platform shoes.

Toblarina and I weren't invited to the backstage party, so we sat on the seats outside and gazed like adoring school kids at the amazing creatures that walked by. There was a lovely butch queen called Kiddie who was wearing silver eyelashes and sparkly lipstick with a dark suit and pork pie hat. It's a look I may steal one day if I'm brave enough.

The eye candy of the night was Putanesca, a six foot plus vision in emerald green sequins with the biggest wig in the whole wild world. She stood and posed for photos, but by the time I'd fumbled with my phone and remembered how to turn the camera on, she was gone. Sigh.

Later at Horsemeat the trannys were performing live. I caught SupposiTori Spelling lip-synching to a drama piece about being made to bark like a dog and forced to take it up the butt. Also Glamamore, Adrian Roberts, Fauxnique, Vinsantos and some others I don't recall. It was one of the most insane things I've ever seen - absolutely fan-fucking-tastic.

In the back room later I encountered Princess Kennedy, Heklina and some white trash drag queens. I also beheld my new coveted item - a Tranny Chaser t-shirt! They were selling them in a kind of dirty pale blue which is soooo not my colour, but I shall be commissioning a rip-off version of my own in due course.

To close the evening I went to Marvellous where, guess what? The trannys turned up again. Hurray! This time I got to speak to SupposiTori Spelling who caught me reclining elegantly on a couch upstairs with sweat gushing from every pore. Prior to me informing her she was my favourite in the movie and I loved her on stage act, our conversation ran thus ...

SS: Isn't it hot in here?
Me: Bitch, I'm sweating like a rapist.
SS: I know, I'm like a whore in church.

A meeting of great minds if ever there was one.