Lovely Ol' Lady

I seem to be stuck in a bit of a seventies nostalgia trip at the moment. A stroke of luck meant I came across an unattended copy of The Times on the train this morning. I was delighted enough with this finding until, hey bongo, there lying amongst its pages was a coupon to go and get Chorlton and the Wheelies FREE on DVD from WH Smith at lunchtime - hurrah!

Now I don’t really have a clue what happens on Children’s TV at the moment, but I bet they don’t have programmes set in strange worlds inhabited by small people on wheels who adopt a happiness dragon and are ruled by a fearful old witch who lives in a kettle.

The witch was called Fenella and she was my favourite, she didn’t like anyone and didn’t want anyone to be happy. She also had a talking book called Claptrap Von Spilldebeans, which, if you think about it, would make a FANTASTIC name for a drag queen.

Chorlton was a gormless dragon with a broad Northern accent who would always save the wheelies from Fenella’s evil magic, quite by accident, and so became their unassuming hero.

The Times are giving away a whole range of titles from the “golden age of children’s TV”. I think I’ve missed a few already but I’m hoping to score The Herbs (I’m Dill the dog, *pant, pant, pant, pant*, I’m a dog called Dill, *pant, pant, pant, pant* - Dill was always chasing his tail … HE HAD WORMS!!!) and maybe Hector’s House or Rainbow.

At the weekend there’s Mr Benn and Captain Pugwash, I wasn’t quite so keen on either of those. Mr Benn, I remember, was a grown man who would disappear into a closet, put on a fancy costume and go off on flights of fancy and wild adventures. Hmmmm…

The thing I remember most about Captain Pugwash is the story it was BANNED from TV for having characters like Master Bates, Seaman Staines and Roger the Cabin Boy. I had always thought this to be true, but no, I have just discovered it is URBAN MYTH, a rotten lie spread by those lefties at The Guardian.

Scuttling cuttlefish! I feel cheated!