Firebomb Shepherds Bush Empire

I'm putting you all in charge of reminding me - if I ever think it's a good idea to go to Shepherds Bush Empire again, STOP ME!

I arrived for Antony and the Johnsons on Tuesday full of joy and expectation. As soon as I got there I was hit by a wall of heat and people. Even getting through the door was a bleedin struggle. Then, of course, there's that dreadful flat floor meaning there's virtually NOWHERE you can stand to get a good view.

After much effort I managed to squeeze myself into a position 1 centimetre wider than my body circumference. Next to me was a prissy queen with smelly hair, and in front was something with an arse like Barbapapa. To add to my ever darkening mood, someone else nearby kept farting.

Antony's set was fabulous, in usual circumstances I would have loved it. He did Cripple and the Starfish and Fell In Love With A Dead Boy. Then he was joined on stage by Boy George for You Are My Sister. Having positioned myself so I could see half of Antony's head, the most I could see of George was his hat. He sounded good though.

The encore was a track called The Mother Song, we were asked to picture our mothers. He nearly lost me at that point until he reassured, "It's OK, it doesn't have to be your real mother if you don't like her." Hee hee.

I was hoping for River of Sorrow thinking that might wash the pain away, but alas...

He's still my hero and I still love him but, for God's sake, make him play somewhere better next time.