Rated FIERCE

I am cock-a-hoop with my latest DVD purchase, it's a compilation of horror shorts by San Franciscan tranny, Peaches Christ. Peaches first caught my eye because she reminds me of Kiki, they both have the same shaped face. Then I found out that they have the same accent and spookily similar mannerisms. It should have come as no surprise to find they hail from the same town, especially as the town is called Maryland - where else would breed the fiercest drag queens?

The DVD is billed as a tran-ilogy of terror, the films focus on the lives and mishaps of Peaches and her sidekick Martiny, helped along by their friend Squeaky Blonde and Trannyshack hostess, Heklina. There's a titty stabbing, a beautiful goth spewing pea-green bile, and more white knuckle moments than a week at Alton Towers.

First up is Troll Girl, a horrifying tale of a good friend gone bad. Peaches and Martiny hire a circus freak to help out with their cabaret act, then Martiny succumbs to a cheese-related illness and Peaches arranges a nurse. As Martiny's condition continues to get worse, Peaches discovers her movie posters have been sabotaged. What on earth?! As she uncovers the culprit, a nail-biting chase scene ensues. Will Peaches bite it at the hands of a knife-wielding monster? Can Martiny save the day? ... You can torture me, I still won't tell.

Nightmare on Castro Street co-stars Squeaky Blonde, AKA my new drag crush. Poor Squeakers has been hitting the bottle so her thoughtful friends stage an intervention. They inform her she's totally fucked. She's dragged kicking and screaming to rehab but they've not seen the last of her yet. Arriving supposedly cleansed on Peaches doorstep, it's not long before the liquor cabinet calls and her thoughts turn from pure to ugly. She embarks on a creative spree of violence, including a vaginoplasty you won't get on the NHS. Then she returns home to torment her hosts. Talk about an ungrateful house guest.

The tran-ilogy climaxes with Whatever Happened to Peaches Christ? An homage to the Bette Davis' classic that leaves the French and Saunders skit in the shade. After finally being upstaged by Martiny, a drunken Peaches is forced to become his carer after a car crash leaves him confined to a wheelchair. As Peaches becomes more and more demented, Heklina tries to come to the rescue - she may soon be sorry she did. I won't even mention the fate of Feathers the parrot, it's all just too terrible for words.

The DVD closes with two extras - a short film called Grindhouse, and an episode of the cable show Canned Peaches. The episode is the lead up to Martiny's cheese incident, but the highlight's an intimate cameo of Squeaky applying her make-up, it's my new favourite thing in the world.

View the trailer on the Peaches Christ website

(Screengrabs reproduced without permission, I hope Peaches doesn't come round and chin me.)