New York Stories 1

Ooh – hiya, I’m back! Returned from my fabulous, famous-hotel- staying, celebrity mingling, whirlwind, barely-a-minute-to-sit-down trip to New York. I’m exhausted!

I’d hardly had time to unpack my gargantuan pants and store them in my Chelsea Hotel closet on Friday when it was brring-brring, and I was invited to go and watch Justin Bond in rehearsals for his performance at Central Park.

Kevin and I were warmly greeted by his very affable group of musicians when we arrived at the Joe’s Pub back room, despite the fact they’d never clapped eyes on us before. They practiced and tuned up for ten minutes or so before whoosh and the door burst open as Justin timed his cue *perfectly* and burst straight into song as he entered – diva points to the maximum. He ran through the first song before coming over to offer smiles and greetings and warm hugs.

The rehearsal lasted for about four hours and at some point Jake Shears arrived and sat understatedly in the corner before a couple of runs through his guest track which he sang beautifully. Lovely man, *terrible* gold Italia trainers ... (Oh, while I'm on a bitch, have you seen Ana Matronic’s new tattoo? She has “staunch” tattooed crudely inside her lower lip, it looks horrible, but anyway …)

Just before we were leaving I’d run off to … oh, I don’t know, the bar or the bog or somewhere … but when I came back Justin was sat talking to PENNY ARCADE!! I wandered over, all nervous smile and bug-eyed gaze of awe and he introduced us. I had nothing better to say than, “I saw you perform in London a few years ago”, but she loved that and thanked me for coming along. Then she bitched at great length that the Guardian had given her a one-star review and she’d never had less than five before, then dissed the journalist for not knowing what the hell she was talking about. I love Penny, she could talk for America. She has some plans to return to London and I hope they work out for her. But for now I was off to the hotel for pizza and sleeping.

Come back tomorrow for tales of parties in the park, glitter and laughter, Taylor Mac and other nonsense.