Suicide Cult

All over Vauxhall they are fucking without condoms

All over Vauxhall they are dancing till Tuesday morning

All over Vauxhall they are taking G, K, C, V and E

All over Vauxhall they are dying.

Gays – the biggest suicide cult in history, this was David Hoyle’s chosen subject for his pre-AIDS Day performance at the Tavern.

We were asked to consider some of the darker aspects of the gay community - scenes inside saunas where 17-year-old boys are unconscious through drug abuse and the adults don’t offer help but just fuck them.

The people who contract AIDS on purpose to give them a sense of belonging, so they can be part of a community and surrounded by people who will care for them.

Then the people who conceal their HIV status or are ashamed of it. Why do so few HIV+ people admit to it?

There were lots of camp laughs along with the gritty stuff and plenty of interaction with the audience, but I think I was hoping for a bit more insight. I wanted to spend more time asking why people take so many drugs or abuse alcohol. Or why they are prepared to risk their lives for the ultimate orgasm.

David put it all down to parental rejection, but I think that might just be one aspect or one catalyst. We can all move away from home and search for people that accept us, but how many get to live the lives they wanted?

How much space does “society” provide for queer people to be happy or allowed freedom of expression? A lot of us are creative by nature but creative jobs are few and hard to come by; students who study the arts are considered inferior to those who, say, excel at science. The media actively supports this so the rejection doesn’t just happen at home. As a result we are forced into positions where we waste our talents and feel isolated, surrounded by heterosexual values and people whose social lives are engagements, wedding parties and christenings.

They might accept the nice, straight-acting gays. They’ll come along and sip wine at a Civil Partnership, but do you think they’d be so tolerant of the homo who sits alone in the corner if they knew he spent his weekends at the Hoist fist fucking? Who does he get to share his views and experience with at lunchtime? Like it or not, this is an aspect of queer culture and one that’s a long way from mainstream approval.

So if we’re oppressed and frustrated, for reasons of our art or our sex, who wouldn’t want to go crazy at the weekend?

If your weekdays are no better than a half-life then you want the highest high and biggest rush at the weekend to compensate. If chasing that means you might not wake up on Monday, it’s a risk worth taking, because you’re not enjoying your life anyway.

The pink pound you’ve earned at the office job means you can afford to buy expensive amphetamines. It’s not really much different from the unemployed, disillusioned straight from the Council block, drinking himself into oblivion with Diamond White or Special Brew because it’s all he can afford with his giro. That’s just a longer and drawn out form of suicide. We’re all society’s rejects.