Treading the Boards

Can you believe I’m going to be appearing in panto, dears? Me, in a thigh slapping, he’s behind you, family entertainment type farce. Whatever next?

To be honest, it’s not so much “family entertainment” as “arsing around for a bunch of old poofs”, but never the less I have LINES. TWO LINES. Well … six words actually, and, if I’m honest, it’s actually three words repeated. But I’m still THE STAR? (Though wouldn’t it be terrible if I forgot them?!).

The event is Snow White and the Seven Bears at Vauxhall Tavern. As you can see, I’m so much the star they haven’t mentioned me on the posters. JEALOUS! I guess they must be worried about overcrowding and being mobbed by my adoring fans.

My supporting cast includes Timberlina as the virginal Snow White, Dusty Limits as the Evil Queen and Nathaniel De Ville as host and cellotaping it together. Can you afford to miss it?

Snap up your tickets for a fiver at the Tavern, or buy them when you come to Mister Sister: Black Christmas.

Forget about Christmas Cheer and adopt a Christmas Sneer as we tut and huff our way through yet another festive celebration.

Starring Lavinia Co-op as the Virgin Mary, me and DJs Krot Krot and Gang as a host of heavenly angels, and a special appearance from Clementine the Living Doll.

It’s the anti-Christmas party of the decade. Or something.