It's Good to Stalk

Unmitigated excitement when fresh blood showed up on my stalk-o-meter this weekend, prepare the fanfares as Chi Chi LaRue is in town!

Chi Chi is a fierce drag queen and porn producer and is in London to appear at Hustlaball, the rude one-off club night at Area. Before that, on Friday, she stopped off to do a meet n greet at, where else than, the porno section at Prowler.

I was expecting to have to fight through crowds but when I got there the shop was practically empty. I went through to the back to find an enormous drag queen looking hopefully across the room while a small cluster of shifty men did their best to pretend they hadn’t seen her. They were far more interested in purchasing their wank material.

I admit I felt a wee bit uncomfortable surrounded by furtive shoppers and stood beneath an enormous video screen showing cock sucking, but I mopped the beads of sweat from my brow and proceeded forward.

Obviously it was all fine because Chi Chi was so glad that someone would talk to her that I was practically knocked to the floor by her enthusiasm – HI, HOW ARE YOU? GREAT TO MEET YOU ... we shook hands and I babbled a little bit and we talked about Hustlaball ... then I asked for a signed photo and was delighted to be handed the following. I will be employing a framesmith to prepare it for display at Right Nasty Mansions.

As for Hustlaball, despite lying to her that I would be there, at 21 quid a ticket I couldn’t be bothered going along to see a bunch of sweaty men get their rocks off. I stayed at home and watched Shortbus.