Michelle is Dead

My friend Michelle died the other day.

I say friend, Michelle was somebody I worked with for about a year, I liked her a lot but we didn't get that close. I was sometimes fed up because she was always complaining she felt ill. Then she was diagnosed with cancer of the throat and, of course, I felt bad.

She was very brave, she had been ill a lot as a child, and was never phased by what the doctors told her or what treatments and operations she had to have. And God knows, they really put her through it.

For a while they thought the cancer had gone away, but then it came back again. I went to visit her one day and, as she could no longer swallow, she had to insert a tube into her stomach and pour a nourishment mixture in there instead of eating food.

In the end they had to give her a traceotomy and she went to live in a hospice where she was given 24 hour care.

People are sad that she has died, and I'm sad too, but mostly I feel relief. Relief for her that she doesn't have to suffer anymore pain and indignity.

If I'm honest, I also feel relief that I don't have to feel bad about not going to visit her anymore.

Death is a part of life and it is heartbreaking, but sometimes you have to accept the fact and just let go.